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elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

twinkleofafadingstar:

Me teaching US history: “ok first thing u gotta remember is that this country exists because a bunch of rich white dudes didn’t want to pay their taxes. The second thing u gotta remember is that rich white men still don’t want to pay their taxes which is pretty much the reason for literally everything ever.”